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Ruby Rose VS Deadpool
Ruby Rose VS Deadpool is a fan written Death Battle by AdamGregory03, pitting Ruby Rose from RWBY against Deadpool from Marvel Comics. Description Yeeah, you know what it is, black and ye... er... red...? Which warrior will come out on top? Interlude (Cue: Invader) Boomstick: "...What's the connection between these two?" Wizard: "...Red?" Boomstick: "...Good enough for me. Ruby Rose, the scythe-wielding hunter in training." Wizard: "And Deadp-" Deadpool: "And me, the ever loveable and often imitated but never duplicated merc with the mouth, Deadpool!" Boomstick: "Oh, GOD DAMN IT!" Deadpool: "D'aw, I missed you too!" Wizard: (Sighs) "I'm Wizard and he's Boomstick and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win, a De-" Deadpool: "A Death Battle!" Boomstick: (Groans) Ruby Rose Wizard: "The world of Remnant. Overrun by dangerous monsters called the Grimm, a group of people would need to be trained in order to combat them-" Deadpool: "Woah, hold on, are you forgetting that every weapon is also a gun!? That sounds like Disneyland to me. The happiest most gun-filled place in the world!" Boomstick: "HEY! Don't steal my jokes, you son of a bitch!" Wizard: "...Anyway, a group of people specifically trained at Beacon Academy to take on these monsters was formed known as the Hunters. And among them is a girl named Ruby Rose, the leader of team RWBY." Boomstick: "But before she was a huntress, Ruby was the daughter of Summer Rose, who, surprise surprise, died while she was young. Later she studied at Signal Academy under her legend of an uncle Qrow, spelled with a Q for some reason... But after inadvertantly stopping a robbery by this guy who's clearly watched a Clockwork Orange one too many times, she was discovered by a man named Ozpin for her silver eyes who invited her to Beacon Academy along with her sister." Deadpool: "Her sister who can win any fight with the power of company partnerships!" Wizard: "Shut up! ...Ahem, anyway, despite her younger age and usually childlike nature, Ruby proved to be a very efficient fighter and even a strong leader for her team." Boomstick: "Primarily thanks to her trusty weapon, the Crescent Rose. Which she made herself, might I add! This baby is a huge-ass scythe that also functions like a sniper rifle. She's considered to be the second most skilled scythe-wielder in RWBY, only behind her aforementioned uncle. And as a gun it packs a serious punch, which Ruby can use to her advantage in combat by actually using the force of it's shots to propel her across the battlefield." Wizard: "Like all hunters, Ruby has access to an energy called aura, which is used to heal minor wounds and increase one's physical ability. Also like all hunters Ruby can use her aura for a semblance that's unique to her. In her case her semblance increases her speed to the point where she can move faster than the human eye can track. She's able to cover roughly around fifty feet in the fraction of a second." Boomstick: "But speed's not all Ruby's got either. She's strong enough to drag around a giant bird monster up a cliff and decapitate it, skilled enough to take out twenty beowulfs quickly, and tough enough to survive getting shot by a bullet strong enough to pierce concrete!" Deadpool: "Pft. Oh yeah. And Yang can beat Tifa." Boomstick: "Hey! Low blow!" Deadpool: "Is it? Is it really?" Boomstick: "...N-no..." Wizard: "But that's not it for Ruby either. Remember how we mentioned her silver eyes? Well that's because she comes from a long line of warriors with these eyes. While we don't know how effective they are or how they work, she accidentally used this power to freeze a Grimm dragon, and it is said that the silver eyes are feared by all Grimm. So it's safe to assume that they make her pretty powerful." Boomstick: "If that's what all silver-eyed guys can do, then I'm getting eye surgery done." Wizard: "However, despite this, Ruby isn't without her shortcomings. While she's exceptional with Crescent Rose, she's not very good with hand-to-hand combat and even with it, she's still rather inexperienced at using it." Boomstick: "And also, she can't bake." Wizard: "That, and her childlike naivety can lead to her being a little too trusting. But in spite of these weaknesses, Rub-" Deadpool: "Yeah yeah yeah, she's really great or whatever, can we move onto me now?" Wizard: "...Fine." (Ruby Rose: "I'll find them. I'll find them, and I'll bring them back.") Deadpool Boomstick: "Wade Wilson was once an ordinary man before-" Deadpool: "Hold up! I got this. When I was born, I was a normal baby. For ten seconds. Then ninjas smashed through the windows and tried to kidnap my momma. And from the moment I drew my first blood, suckling on my mom's sweet tits for the last drop of milk, I knew that I was destined for greatness. And that I was, because every superhero team wanted me! Avengers, Defenders, X-Men, Guardians of the Galaxy, Thunderbolts, Fantastic Four of which they would've renamed to Fantastic Five, but I turned them all down. Because I'm just that badass." (Pause) Boomstick: "All right, that's it." Deadpool: "Don't blame you, there's only so much backstory I can sha-" (A spring launches from underneath Deadpool, sending him flying) Deadpool: "YOU GUYS SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK...!!!" Wizard: "......Anyway, Deadpool's ACTUAL backstory is that he was once a normal man named Wade Wilson, who desired to be the next great hero. But unfortunately, his dreams were shattered the moment he realized he had cancer. Wade abandoned his dreams and dumped his girlfriend to save her from the burden of a man doomed to die." Boomstick: "But then he met these scientists from the Weapon X program who said they wanted to cure his cancer. And by that I of course mean they wanted to experiment on him and turn him into a living weapon. And so, Deadpool escaped from Weapon X's clutches, now with a face that looks like Freddy Krueger got a sunburn. And they didn't even cure his cancer. But he also got a regenerative healing factor that kind of negated it as well as superhuman strength and speed, so it wasn't all bad." Wizard: "As I'm sure you've caught onto by now, Deadpool possesses medium awareness, meaning he's fully aware that he's a fictional character." Boomstick: "Everyone is a fictional character. ...Think about that." Wizard: "And as such, he's developed numerous skills surrounding it. Such as mastering an animation technique called the Magic Satchel, in which he can seemingly pull anything from behind his back." Boomstick: "Deadpool is a highly skilled assassin and expert in multiple different weapons. His favorites are guns and a pair of katana blades, but he also loves using anything that creates an explosion! Which means we'd totally be BFFs if he wasn't so god damn annoying. He's also got a device that lets him teleport short distances, and a sword made of Carbonadium that nullifies healing factors, which Deadpool used to kill the ENTIRE Marvel Universe one time!" Wizard: "Actually, that was DREADpool, from an alternate timeline. ...But, then Dreadpool came to Earth-616 and that Deadpool managed to beat him, so... technically it's canon? But even if it's not, Deadpool has plenty of other feats to go off of." Boomstick: "Like outsmarting Taskmaster, who has the ability to literally predict his opponent's next move, being melted down to a puddle and healed up from that no problem, and was once even a herald to Galactus, the devourer of worlds! Plus, he even managed to have a relationship with the incarnation of Death herself! Yes, Death is a woman in the Marvel universe. I don't know why either." Wizard: "But even with all of that, he does have his weaknesses. His healing factor has trained him to think he's invincible, when in reality, while he's pretty difficult to kill, it's not impossible to do so. That, and sometimes, he actually manages to confuse himself." Boomstick: "But even though he's hard to take seriously, you shouldn't underestimate the merc with the mouth." Deadpool: "Hell yeah." Boomstick: "Aaaaand you're back." Deadpool: "Yep. And just for that have some footage from my movie." Wizard: "Wait, no no NO NO NO-!" THIS FANON FIGHT HAS BEEN CLAIMED BY 20TH CENTURY FOX. EXCEPT NOT REALLY BECAUSE YOU'RE STILL READING IT AND THIS ISN'T A YOUTUBE VIDEO. THIS JOKE SUCKS. The Battle Wizard: "All right, the combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all." Boomstick: "It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!" Setting: Vale City Opens to an establishing shot of Vale. Everything seems normal, as there's not even a Grimm attack in the city. One thing out of the ordinary though is a wanted poster with a picture of a girl named Ruby Rose... and an odd character looking it over. Deadpool: '''"Twelve thousand bucks!? For this one girl?" A girl with a red hood cloaking her face walks by him. '''Deadpool: "Man, this'll be the easiest money I ever made!" (Glances at the girl passing him) "Am I right?" (Looks back at the poster) "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm right." Deadpool double-takes and looks at the girl again. He then snatches the poster and runs up to her. Deadpool: "Hey, sweetheart!" (Holds gun up to her head) He gets no response from her. Deadpool then puts the gun away and taps on her shoulder. The girl turns, revealing herself to indeed be Ruby Rose, who puts her hood down and reveals that she's wearing headphones, playing This Will Be The Day on them. Deadpool points to his head, implying he wants her to take the headphones off, which she does. Ruby: "Yes?" Deadpool: "Um, hi. Name's Deadpool, world renowned mercenary and assassin, maybe you've heard of me." Ruby: "No, I haven't." Deadpool: "Okay, good, so uh, look, what I'm gonna do is nothing personal, okay?" (Holds up poster) "Just business." Ruby: "...Oooohhh." It then cuts to a shot of a car parked alongside the sidewalk. A man walks up to the car... and then a loud striking sound is heard from off-screen. Deadpool: (Off-screen) "OW MY KIDNEY-!" Deadpool is slammed against the car, denting it, and causing the man to run off. Deadpool manages to recover from the blow however and leaps back into action, facing Ruby and taking a stance. Deadpool: "Oooh, this is gonna be fun!" Ruby: "I don't know who you are, but if you wanna bring me in for money, then you'll have to take me kicking and screaming!" Deadpool: "Um... I think that sounded a lot more badass in your head, honey." Ruby: "...Yeah, you're probably right." Ruby reaches behind her and pulls out a staff, which forms into a large red scythe, the Crescent Rose. She then prepares to fight herself. Deadpool just stares for a few seconds, momentarily shocked by the awesome weapon. Deadpool: "...Okay, I think I just peed a little." (Cue: Caffeine (RWBY)) Deadpool didn't hesitate at all and immediately whipped out his guns, rapidly pressing the triggers to unleash a plethora of bullets on the young huntress, who managed to avoid getting shot simply by swinging around Crescent Rose. Ruby managed to deflect one bullet straight into Deadpool's shoulder, which caused him to stagger backwards. Ruby then ran in. Seeing this, Deadpool unseathed his katanas and clashed them with the scythe. Deadpool: "Y'know, I don't usually make small talk with my targets, but lemme guess, you main B.B. Hood?" Ruby: "Huh?" Ruby pushes Deadpool away from her and both catch themselves. Deadpool: '''"Yeah, she's okay. I main Felicia. I mean, I bet your sister knows a thing or two about crushes on cat girls, am I right?" '''Ruby: "Wha-My sis-How did you know I ship Bumblebee!?" (Music stops) Deadpool: "...I uh... I didn't." Ruby: "............" Deadpool: '''"By the way, how are things going with you and that albino rich chi-" '''Ruby: (Blushes and slashes Crescent Rose) "KYAAAA!!!" Deadpool's arm gets sliced off and it falls on the ground. He looks down at it, and Ruby opens her eyes, and gasps at what she's done. Ruby: "Oh my gosh I'm so sorry I didn't mean to I was just I mean you are trying to kill me so I guess you kind of deserve that but I seriously didn't mean to I was just-!" Deadpool: "Kid! Relax. Happens all the time." Ruby: "...What?" Deadpool bends over and picks up his arm. Deadpool: "Healing factor. Comes in handy." Deadpool begins attempting to reattach his arm, only for Ruby to look totally grossed out. Deadpool: (Off-screen, simutaneously) "Okay, I think I got this... Oop, no wait, that's on backwards. Shit. Hang on. Okay, one second here..." Ruby: (Simutaneously) "Ew... Ew... Ew... Ew... Ew..." Deadpool finally gets his arm reattached. Deadpool: "There we go! Yeah, like I said, no worries, happens all the time. Besides, I still got twelve rounds left." Ruby: "...What does that have to do with." (Cue: Die (RWBY)) Deadpool whips out his gun and shoots it at Ruby. Deadpool: "ONE!" Ruby manages to narrowly avoid it. Deadpool: "Damn it." (Shoots again) "TWO!" Ruby gets out of the way and starts running. Deadpool: (Shoots again) "THREE!" Before the bullet can hit her, Ruby seems to have vanished. Deadpool looks shocked and begins looking around. Deadpool: "Um... Little Red Riding Hood?" Ruby reappears from using her semblance and plants her feet against a nearby building, then points Crescent Rose toward it, then shoots and propels herself toward Deadpool at high speeds. Deadpool: "Olly-olly-oxen-" Ruby deals a kick to Deadpool's face. Deadpool: (Slow-motion) "-FFFFFFRRRRRREEEEEEEE-!" Deadpool is knocked across the street, followed by Ruby using Crescent Rose to propel her again. She lunges down toward Deadpool, who teleports out of the way right before she can strike. Deadpool reappears and punches Ruby in the face, then kicks her in the stomach, which knocks her back. Ruby gets to her feet. Deadpool whips out his gun again. Deadpool: (Shoots three times) "FOUR, FIVE, SIX!" Ruby dodges and uses her semblance to blitz behind Deadpool and slash at him numerous times before aiming Crescent Rose at his body and shooting him with it. Deadpool goes flying but then teleports down to the ground and instantly heals up and keeps shooting. Deadpool: "SEVEN, EIGHT!" Ruby deflects the bullets, sending one of them directly into his skull. (Music stops here) Deadpool falls over limp. Ruby pauses and cautiously approaches his body. Nothing happens after a few seconds... and then she fist-pumps the air. Ruby: "Ruby wi-!" Deadpool: (Raises hand) "I'm good!" Ruby: "AH!" Deadpool stands back up as Ruby backs up, holding Crescent Rose close to her. Deadpool: (Waggles his finger) "Okay sweetie, that's it! No more Mr. Nice Assassin!" Ruby: (Smirks) "Okay! No more sweet little girl either!" (Cue: This Will Be The Day, only to be cut off right before the first lyric) Deadpool: "Hold up! If we're prolonging this fight then no way are we listening to another piece of her shitty soundtrack!" Deadpool reaches behind his back and pulls out a radio. He sets it down and pushes the play button. (Cue: Deadpool's Theme (Marvel vs. Capcom 3)) Deadpool: "Yeeeaah, now we're talking!" Ruby just stares in confusion. And rightfully so considering Deadpool actually starts busting a move to his own theme song. Ruby regains focus and runs in, slashing Crescent Rose at him, only for Deadpool to whip out his katanas and clash with each of her swings. Deadpool manages to knock Crescent Rose out of her hand and then stands onto his hands and spins around dealing rapid kicks and knocking Ruby away. Deadpool: (Pulls out guns and shoots) "SEVEN, EIGHT, NINE, TEN!" Ruby manages to catch Crescent Rose in her hands and slices the bullets away, aims it, then fired another shot from it. Deadpool flips over the shot in an epic slow-mo shot, but unfortunately that shot then hits an oncoming truck that causes it to spin out of control... straight toward Deadpool. Deadpool: (Notices) "Oohhh, shit-" The truck rams into Deadpool, and Ruby then reacts to it by aiming Crescent Rose at the ground again and propelling her up onto the truck. As Ruby tries to gain her balance, Deadpool climbs up and gets in a lucky shot... Deadpool: "ELEVEN!" ...and the bullet hits Ruby right inbetween her legs, making her squeal. Deadpool: "Oooh... Hopefully it's not that time of the month, huh? Ha ha ha... Ha... Yeah, okay, that was terrible." (Cue: Swordland (Sword Art Online)) Ruby just bockles down and lets out a scream as her eyes glow. Her Silver Eyes activate and take the form of wings. Deadpool: "Oh, COME ON-!" The Silver Eyes freeze the bus, but Deadpool manages to leap out of the way. The Silver Eyes continue trying to attack Deadpool, freezing everything in their wake. But Deadpool manages to dodge each attempt to axe him. Eventually, Deadpool manages to get up close to Ruby, and her eyes hone in on him. He jumps again, directly aiming the gun at her head... Deadpool: "Twelve." He pulls the trigger and fires a bullet through her skull, which is such a cool shot that it's shown off in three different angles. Ruby's eyes close, and her Silver Eyes blink out. She goes limp and her body slides off the frozen truck and lands on the ground hard. Deadpool slides down after her and lands. He looks down and puts his hands on his hips. Deadpool: "Well, people, looks like Tifa has been avenged. ...No, I don't know how. ...Just-just roll with it, okay?" (Picks up Crescent Rose) "Oh, by the way, this is mine now." (Inadvertantly aims it at the ground) "Okay, so, how do you work this thi-" Deadpool accidentally fires it, launching him backwards and landing off-screen. Deadpool: "...I'm okay. Again." K.O.! Shows Ruby reunited with Summer in Heaven while Deadpool is strutting his stuff with Crescent Rose on his shoulder. Results (Cue: The Deadpool Rap) Deadpool: "Oh... Oh, no! All you RWBY fans, oh I hear all your tears! I'm so sorry-I'm not sorry. Your waifu is shit tier. Also she's fifteen, so see y'all on To Catch a Predator." Wizard: "Do you mind?" Deadpool: "Oh, sure, sure, go ahead, explain how I owned her ass."''' Wizard: (Sighs) "While Ruby's semblance gave her the speed advantage and her Silver Eyes made her more destructive, Deadpool outclassed her everywhere else." Boomstick: "Mainly because, she didn't really have a way to kill him. Deadpool's survived much worse than anything she could throw out and could heal up from it in a matter of seconds. That combined with his sheer unpredictability allowed him to last longer in this fight." Wizard: "Also, Ruby is still a Hunter trainee who couldn't complete her education at Beacon." Boomstick: "Because now it's... kind of destroyed..." Wizard: "Meanwhile, Deadpool is a masterful assassin who has held his own against some of the greatest fighters in the Marvel Universe, such as Captain America, Spider-Man, and Wolverine." Boomstick: "Deadpool just red her like a book. ...Get it?" Wizard: "The winner is-" Deadpool: "Deathstroke! Shit! Messed it up again..." Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:AdamGregory03 Category:'Battle of the Genders' themed Death Battles Category:'Hero vs Anti-Hero' Themed Death Battles Category:'Gun Fights' Themed Death Battles Category:'Comic Book vs Web Show' themed Death Battles Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:Death Battles with Music